10.) Obviously you're stellar at driving with your cell phone, because when the cell phone is at your ear, your field of vision is straight ahead, nevermind all of the cars to your left and right. The world is here for just you!
9.) When "your jam" comes on the radio, you feel the need to dance... I'm not talking about a little finger snap here and there, I'm talking full on, hip swing, arms up, dancing!!! Nevermind the $30 - $40k car you're driving, or others peoples lives on the road, YOU HAVE TO DANCE!!!!
8.) Yes, the light goes from Red to Green, when it's green, you can GO!!! You don't have to stare at the green, although it's mind boggling, I don't have time to sit here all day!!!
7.) When you're not on the phone, it's like you've never been outside of your house! It's like you have to look at every little thing around you like you've never seen houses on the side of the road, which makes you ride that white line, and then slam on the break when you start riding in the grass or that sound barrier on the side of the highway almost causing me to crash!
6.) Road Kill and Future Road Kill... Geez, you see a bird or a squirrel, and it's like a semi is about to hit you head on! You slam up the breaks for a creature that's dumb enough to run out onto the road... Just kill the stupid thing! You know how many squirrels and birds there are out there! I could understand a horse in the road or a bull, but really? A squirrel? Come on... Get real...
5.) Parking... Jesus, don't get me started... Women can't park to save their lives, and it's a good thing that they drive the HUGE TANK of an SUV their husband bought for them... It's like they can usually pull in, but pulling straight out the same track you pulled in on is impossible... I really don't know how hard of a task that is, and second, I don't know how you got your license in the first place... Anybody that fails the parking portion of your driving test, should not be allowed EVER to get their license...
4.) Speed Limits... I don't know what it is, but women are always late on the lights and short on the speed... The numbers are posted everywhere, and you get upset when people tailgate you? Maybe if you weren't going 28 in a 35! You're just like an old person... Speed up or get out! Your undying need to stay in the fast lane going 55 is slowly killing us people that aren't scared of driving!
3.) Turn Signals... All that money you spent on the car, and you can't flip a turn signal on to let us know of your next indecisive move... Seriously, I know it's a stretch between not monitoring your speed, your position on the road, changing the radio, doing your make up, and making sure your hair looks ok, but a little clicking noise to let us know where the hell you're going would be much obliged!!!
2.) Why is it that everytime someone even remotely starts coming into your lane and then moves back once they notice you (probably another of your species) that you freak out and have to about pull over and take an hour break to reflect on what just happened... You know if you honk, they're more likely to cut back quicker and realize their mistake!!! I'm just saying, grow a pair, and get over it...
1.) Your bathroom mirror has officially been moved to your vanity mirror in your sunvisor... Which is also part of the reason you're late off of the lights, EVERYTIME!!! I swear, this lady sat at a light just this morning for a good 2 minutes with me honking because she was putting on eye-shadow... Worst part was I was honking and she throws up her hands like I did something wrong screwing up her morning routine! Get out of here...
Let me just state for the record that this is not ALL WOMEN, but if more than 95% of your are guilty, you're all guilty! I know that most of the girls I know don't, and many that are guilty are mainly between the ages of 32 - 90+... We'll See Ya
-15 of my girl friends said that this wasn't them, then turned around and said this is all so true after reading this...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment