Love Life Live Love... What The Hell Does That Mean?

Not that in any way, shape or form do I want to bring up, quote, or logically think about the Haddaway song "What is love," but I pretty much have to for this stupid blog, because for once I'm going to talk about something, that yes, a lot of you are not going to believe I'm talking about, but it's true. I want to talk about "love" because apparently the very word "love" get's thrown around more than "would you like to make that a value meal for just .35$ more?" or even "I don't know my account number, can you tell me what it is?" This is a very disturbing thing for me. Recently, as you all know, I was in a pretty serious relationship, I know, hard for even myself to believe, but it's true. This relationship, that only lasted maybe 5 months was actually pretty long, and pretty serious for me. Well, she decided one day that she didn't want to be together for reasons I'm still not completely clear about yet, but you know, girls do that from time to time, and ladies, I'm sure guys do it to, just not as often. Regardless, we were in that stage of telling each other we love one another, and it really did feel right. After breaking up, we still talked after that initial shock of being broken up set in, and she told me she loved me still, and I told her to stop telling me that, because it's screwing with me. She obviously doesn't if she is not with me anymore. Well, we talked, and she wanted to take things slow again, and I was all for it, but now, I don't know. Let me lay the ground work for you, then you can decide:

We broke up in late September, and right before she was going on a trip to Tennessee for her friends wedding. We talked after breaking up about getting back together when she got back, she just wanted time to think. She came back, told me she missed me, loved me, and wants to work things out and that we would hang out the day she gets back. Time passes, she comes back, and she comes home around 10ish from Gatlinburg, after originally telling me it would be around 6 when she gets back, and tells me it's too late for her to come over, so maybe next week. Whatever, no big deal for me. I'm not going to lie, I was alittle hurt, because I was pretty stoked to see her. Then, time comes again, and she comes to see me on my lunch, and we're talking, and we kiss before I go back to work, and everything seems to be falling into place again, and I feel great. So she tells me, granted this was tuesday afternoon, that she will come over thursday night when I get off from work, be there around 6ish... So time passes, and it's thursday... So thursday comes and goes, I'm excited, and she sends me a text and says it might be alittle later because her parents took her boys to the pet store, so she'll come when they get back, which yea, I was bummed, because I'm starting to slowly realize, it's not going to happen now. So I wait and wait, and around 7:15, she tells me they just got back, I reply ok... Some more time passes, and it's 7:45, and she says it's too late she thinks, so now I'm left in a predicament. We also talked on tuesday and I told her since we're off Monday, we should take the boys somewhere and hang out... But after these 2 incidents, what do I do???

I realize this is really a small example of what goes through my bee sized brain, but in all honesty, I have never felt this way before, and as hard as it is for me to just walk away, I don't know if I can... She still tells me she loves me every morning and she can't wait to see me when we get to work, but is it true? Does she love me? What exactly does she love? What is love? Ahhhhh, that's the question... Therefore, I'm forced to look at what I really do love, and base it off of that... Hence, at this point, you know I'm going to tell you what I say when I "love" something... Is love just a word? Is it a true feeling? Do we say I love you to get something from someone? Do we mean it when we say it, or do we just say it to make someone feel like it's mutual? I'm going to try to show you what I mean when I say it, and show you the many misuses of this word, "love."

"I don't know about you, but I love a cold landshark on a hot day..."

-This type of love is a mutual thing. Love for a beer is acceptable, because yes, if you love a beer, even though it can't say it loves you, it does... Love for a shot is also the same...

"I would just love a piece of cheesecake right now..."

-Also the same as the beer remark. You're allowed to love cheesecake, or a steak, or something like that, because a.) it's delicious. And b.) it loves you too...

"I love the fact that I have to go into work today..."

-Ahhh, a prime example, no one says this, and really means it, that's why, I call this "sarcastic love..." This is what you say to someone when you actually get to work, and you know they feel the same way... Or you say it like me, when I come into work, and Dawn says "good morning hun, how are you today?" Trust me, this is a heavily used phrase for me...

"I just love that outfit you have on..." Or "I just love that scent you have on..."

-Easily could go either way... When a girl says to another girl the first phrase, they're lying, because we all know when a girl is really lying... Everytime she opens her mouth... Really, what they mean is, I hate that outfit, but I'm going to tell you I love it to make you feel good... The scent one, well, that could go either way, depends if they ask you where you got it, then they do like it...

"I love you..."

-This one is actually a very difficult one to explain... We say it when we don't mean it, we say it when we do mean it, some don't know what it really means, but if you ask me, I think it's meant for marriage... When you truly, God honestly love someone, it's when you're married, or engaged... You can say that you love God, because he loves all equally, as you should love him, but as for boyfriends and girlfriends that you're just dating, that's not "I love you" times...

I recently realized something however, that there is somewhat of a double standard, and at this point I would like to switch gears and talk about friendships. Friendships, depending on what type of friendship you have, can have love within them. Take for instance, my friend Rick. Rick is a stand up guy (I don't mean comedian either). I love Rick and I'm not afraid to admit that at all. Through all of the years that I've known him now, he has been there for me, and would do anything for me, well, almost anything, he still won't give me his sisters' number (kidding)... Either way, I can honestly say that Rick is like my brother, which makes it easy for me to say that I love him. Rick is the kind of guy that is there for any of his friends, through any situation, even knowing his friends are wrong, he would still have your back through thick and thin... He truly is the definition of a best friend. So in conclusion, through this long, mentally strung out, jumping around of thoughts blog, I think it's important that you find that one friend that you know is that person in your life, and you tell them that you love them, and appreciate everything they've done for you, and everything they will do for you, throughout the rest of your life. Because people deserve to hear these kinds of things, as reinforcement of knowing that people do care about them like that as well...

-3,402 people are still wondering what exactly I'm writing about in this blog after reading this...