And you thought bank tellers and managers were so nice...

So today at work my branch manager, for reasons of animosity we'll call him Carson Palomalou, comes out of his office for the brief 2 minutes that he usually does, and makes a comment to our office manager, again for reasons of animosity, we'll call him Odell Holt, and makes the statement that we are no longer handling customers with overdraft fee refunds. I found this quite hilarious because we are not usually a branch to even consider returning it unless of course it was a bank error, but apparently during the course of this month, we have returned more than normal, which I'm guessing, is anything over 1, because that's how much of a cheapskate (TMNT) he is. Therefore, I found it hilarious and kind of chuckled when he said it. Then all of a sudden, a heated debate on the best way to deal with customers that want fee's returned erupted like a Hawiian volcano. I can't make these up folks, but this is literally exorts from idea's that the people that I work with were throwing out on how to deal with these customers, and after they did throw these out there, I further thought about them in my head and will further explain them later on:

-A button located at all teller and manager desks that can open the floor to a great white shark tank.

-A machine gun turret located above the doors at the exit that is available to all tellers and managers via buttons at desk locations.

-A rocket propelled grenade launcher also located at the doors that is also available to all tellers and management via buttons at desk locations.

-The ability of those lawfully carrying CCW licenses to carry weapons into branch and at the point at which a customer mentions the refunding of fee's, we shoot to kill.

-Locking exit door mechanism via buttons at all desks that locks the customer in between the doors of the exit to which we can seal the exit, and pour in any amount of gases or liquids depending on how distraught we are.

However, these means may also be used in the case of robberies as well... Now, lets take an in depth look at these, and I'm going to rate them from 1 - 5, 1 being my favorite, and 5 being my least favorite...

5.) Rocket Propelled Grenade launcher turret. That's just not a good idea, ever seen what a rocket can do in a small, contained area? That's just not good, you'll burn down the building and everything inside of it, and not to mention the fact that there will be shratnal and all that crap and glass, basically, NOT A GOOD IDEA, but I still laughed...

4.) Machine Gun turret. What happens in an electric power out? What if those things go haywire? Are they going to accidentally unload on me? I'm not sure how I feel about getting shot up when I did nothing wrong... Again, not a good idea... Still chuckled though...

3.) Locking door mechanisms in the doors that lock them in and have the ability to gas or liquid them to death. Again, seems cool, has cool intentions, but seriously, what about when I have to leave? Is there still gas just seeping around in there? It only takes a little bit of that stuff to kill you... So you have to have one hell of ventilation system, otherwise, it's all over for you...

2.) Shark Tank in the floor... Really? Who's going to feed it? Although, I mean, depending on size and everything, with the amount of people bitching about fee refunds, it would balance to where we have leftovers, but either way, still... That's a lot of maintenence and extra work, so on and so forth, and if it's anything like that shark from Deep Blue Sea, it could eventually break through the floor, and I don't think I could take that kind of pressure, but would be fun to see once or twice just for kicks...

1.) Allowing those licensed for CCW's to carry at work. It works, it's like pilots getting guns on the planes. We can have them for any case. No misfires, clean and clear situations, and not an overuse of power. It's basically just an awesome option, and it also gives us good target practice with real life tactical situations. Therefore, that gets my number 1 vote!!! I don't really know the reason for this blog, but I wanted to write something and give you insight into what these people I work with actually think about during the course of the day... We'll See Ya

54,320 people now understand why I'm crazy, and are officially ok with it now after reading this... Hope it made you chuckle inside at most...