And in other breaking news: Cincinnati Mayor, Mark Mallory committed political suicide this morning when he asked the great people of the Queen City of Cincinnati to support, yes SUPPORT the Cincinnati Bengals as they go ass to head with the Pittsburgh Steelers this coming Sunday afternoon. He is quoted as saying that "we need to support the Bengals as they go head to head with our biggest rival..." He also stated that there is "no room for negotiations..." Mark Mallory made it clear that he will be down tailgating for the game this Sunday, but slowly realized, he will be the only Bengals supporter that will be attending. According to Stubhub reporting, currently there are over 4,100 tickets available online for purchase for this weekends game, and ticket prices have dramatically dropped to an all-time low as the 0 - 6 (soon to be 0 - 16) Bengals take on the Steelers that are currently 4 - 1 after a bye week. It is reported that injury wise, the Steelers will have their front of injured players back on the field just in time to kick the Bengals monkey asses up, and down the field...
Fans are wondering how and why Mark Mallory decided to step behind the support of Mike Brown and the Bengals, wondering if he is truly trying not to get re-elected to the Mayor's office. Mallory says "but now is the time when the community's support matters the most..." He also wanted Bengals fans to know that "it is very important that we continue to support the Bengals, even when they are having tough times," he said. This is a very true statement, because if the Cincinnatians don't pay to go watch the games, then Mike Brown loses money, and Mallory has to hear an ear full. (Mallory, "tough times" are going 2 years with an 8 - 8 record, these aren't tough times, this is the Great Depression times World War IV...)
A reporter pointed out to Mallory that there will probably be more Steelers fans than Bengals fans at PBS, Mallory fired back by saying "You know what? What did you just say?" said Mallory. "You said there will probably be more Pittsburgh Steelers fans at the game than Bengals fans. What does that say? It says that Pittsburgh fans continue to support their team. We've got to support our team. We absolutely have to support our team. There is just no doubt in my mind about that. No room for negotiation as far as I'm concerned."
An unknown source is quoted as talking to Mallory after the press conference and said that when he returned to his office, he had a memo on his desk that was not there before the press conference, and he would like to change what he had previously stated to the media... His revised statement is as follows:
"You know what? What did you just say?" said Mallory. "You said there will probably be more Pittsburgh Steelers fans at the game than Bengals fans. What does that say? It says that Pittsburgh fans continue to support their team. Because the Steelers players and coaches and owners actually give a damn about winning, and the fans, and the city itself... That is, unlike Mike Brown and the Bungles, I'm sorry Bengals... We just want to rip off the Cincinnatians as much as possible, and see how much money we can actually get from you morons... Oh uh, I mean, great people of the Queen City..."
Apparently Mark Mallory has been the mayor of a different city... He has such great ideas: The Underground Museum (of wasted money), The Streetcars (through the projects where we'll inevitably get robbed easier), The Banks Projects (wasted funds that will never be as good as Newport), Paul Brown Stadium (that has seen better performances with high school football teams from the state), etc... Get this clown out of office before we lose all of our money... I'm starting to really think that having a Cincinnati Pro-Soccer team would be awesome, you know since the Bengals don't obviously want to play there, let's let someone or something that does play instead... We'll See Ya
-24,208 people just decided not to vote for Mallory in the next election...
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