I was reading the Enquirer today, or should I say "Biased Cincinnati Newspaper." All of the headlines just make our city sound so great! Let me give you a few examples of the one's that I saw that piss me off:
-Griffey a Red again?
-Watson Forgotten But Not Gone...
-Black Cats Need Homes...
-Quit Stealing My Signs!
-Safety Jackson Out For Season...
Let's take a look at the good and bad out of these stories:
Griffey a Red again? Please God NO! He talked about how happy he was to leave and get to play for a competitive team! Good, congratulations, but did you forget that they actually have to pick you up and want you to play for them? Minor details apparently to you... You're old, you're dried up, no one wants you... But please God, do not pick up Griffey again! He is completely worthless, and basically the worst thing to happen to Cincinnati, and the Reds... I would almost, ALMOST (clarification for everyone) rather have Obama in the office than Griffey back in Cincinnati... PLEASE NO!
Watson Forgotten But Not Gone... That's only because we can't get rid of him, our whole roster is pretty much screwed! Everyone's hurt! They keep showing Watson running the ball into the pack and getting pushed back for yards... He's horrible, worthless, pretty comparable to Griffey actually now that I think of it... He's been worthless ever since he got here... I say, let's forget about him, and get rid of him... But then we'll just draft another punter, so regardless, let's get a lesser player, for lesser pay...
Black Cats Need Homes... Really? I'm sure there's plenty of other cats that need homes too, why should we segregate only black cats? What about white cats? White cats have problems finding housing too, this isn't a racial problem. I heard Sarah McLaughlin trying to pawn off these poor dogs and cats on me for a free t-shirt the other day, so what about dogs too? Dogs and Cats need homes regardless of their race, gender... So the title should be Cats AND DOGS need homes! Good story enquirer, F FOR EFFORT!!!
Quit Stealing My Signs! Apparently Peter Frampton has a big problem in his Indian Hills neighborhood. Apparently these teens keep stealing his McCain/Palin yard signs! Really? How big of a problem is this? In Sharonville, I have to worry about not getting shanked by a homeless mexican walking the streets early in the mornings, but Peter Frampton, Mr. Bow Wow WooooooooooooooooW guitar man has SERIOUS problems! THEIR FREE SIGNS! You want people to know you're voting for him, then after you do vote, leave the election office screaming I VOTED MCCAIN/PALIN!!! Seriously, can't the news just talk about how our homicide rate currently is much higher than last years? THANKS AVONDALE!!! Seriously, if that's our biggest problem in Cincinnati!!!
Safety Jackson Out For Season... Really? I thought he was out already... The way he plays, I God honestly thought he was out already! This isn't news, Dexter is never IN so what's the difference! I'm surprised that Dexter Jackson wasn't over with Johnathan Joseph playing Patty Cake Powderpuff, because usually he's the last one to the tackle, and yes, still the first to celebrate... I'm surprised he hasn't been called for a late hit yet, the play's usually over when he's making his "tackle" attempt... Pansy...
So that's our news... Most cities have good things going on around them, like new city buildings, or updates to their beautiful parks or something like that... We have murders, black cats in need of housing, and Bengals players on and off parole or out on injury... Yay for Cincinnati!!! Get me out of this place... We'll See Ya
8,452 people realized how much they hate Cincinnati too, but will never leave here...
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