These Are The People I Come In Contact With...

So I'm sitting at work pondering my next great move, and probably my favorite thing to do during the wee hours of the morning that I'm at work, figure out what the hell I'm going to eat for lunch... I'm sitting and thinking of everything in the area, and I whiff mention of someone say Skyline, although they were talking about the Texas Skyline in Dallas or something, but all I tuned into was Skyline, the Cincinnati Chili! So I coerce myself into heading to skyline for some 3-way and cheese coney action, I know I know, good choice Hoopes, thanks, I appreciate it! So I'm happy as a fag with a bag full of dicks thinking about how Skyline is going to hit the spot! (Your welcome Rick for using your buddy's line there)... So I pull up, and get something I usually don't get when I pull into fast food drive thru's. "Thanks for choosing skyline, please give us just a second." I'm puzzled, I look ahead, and there's no other cars in the drive thru. Thoroughly confused, 2 minutes go by, and I'm really starting to question my choice of lunch. So finally "the voice" we'll call him returned to reign havoc on the very sacred part of my day. "Welcome to Skyline, would you like to try a....." I had to cut him off at this point and say no, "I would just like a 3-way and 2 cheese coney's NO ONIONS, NO MUSTARD..." I put that part in caps because that is very important to the story, so more or less it's foreshadowing. Anyways, continue on the quest here... So after about another minute of radio silence, he says he'll have my total at the second window, now this also confused me, because a.) there's only one window, and b.) there's only one window... So I pull up to the window to where I come into contact with something that truly made me question my lunch choice:

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against hiring "special people" for restaurants, but correct me if I'm wrong, but they usually have people standing there to ensure quality assurance. Well guess what? No such luck here... So I keep my composure, and he takes my debit card for payment, and I'm thinking I hope he doesn't eat it or something thinking it's a cracker or something, because yes, I'm an asshole like that sometimes, but thank God for that, no such luck. So about 5 minutes later, I get my card, a plethora of receipts for some reason, and my bag of food. I thank him and light up a square because of the pain and torment of 30 minutes of my lunch gone, so I'm trying to relax now. So I drive the 2 seconds back to the hell (the branch) and sit down to enjoy my lunch (so I thought)... I open the Styrofoam box that beholds the treasure that is that sacred to me. Sure as shit, the onion stench that I did whiff wasn't that of a smell that had just marinated onto my box, but rather IN my box... Apparently, "the voice" thought that by NO ONIONS, I meant EVERY MOTHER FUCKING ONION YOU HAVE IN THE ENTIRE SKYLINE CORPORATION! And by NO MUSTARD, I MEANT SMOTHER THEM SHITS IN EVERY DROP OF MUSTARD THAT YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!! It's not that I'm allergic to these items or anything of that nature, but I just don't like the taste that is portrayed from these very items together with my hot dog and bun combo. Hence, NO ONIONS, NO MUSTARD! Which brings me to my next conclusion: Don't get me wrong, I'm totally for equal opportunity employment, but REALLY?!?! During lunch? Why not have them work at McDonald's at 1 or 2 am when the only people coming through are HAMMERED ass drunk and wouldn't know if you gave me a McChicken or a McPube sandwich!?!? I mean, seriously... This is a lunch rush hour, and you got 30 minutes for one quick order... Might as well have a Senior Citizen or a Stoner working like usual, but then you run into this:

So really, if you think about it, unless I work at McDonalds again, there will be no "Fast Food" just Slow and retarded... And with that comment, I just advanced 10 places in line in hell... What a glorious feeling that is...

So onto the next story of my life. Those that know me know that I drive a little Honda Civic coupe. It's a nice shade of red, and one that you know, a regular driver would be able to see, you know, unlike a camouflage car. However, I've come to notice that hummer drivers find my car EXTREMELY hard to find on the road. This humores me, because I can't miss your GINORMOUS banana fucking HUMMER driving down the street! It's bad enough your gas guzzling piece of shit takes up both sides of the street, but when you are just cutting people off because you think you can, if makes it kind of hard to deal with you... Literally, this is the view I had from my windshield:

Of course this wasn't really the license plate, it was something like mysclade or some crap, regardless it was something that didn't matter, and I could care less about, but the fact that he almost took off the front end of a car that I care much for (because I still owe $17,000 on), I had to make myself alittle more known. I stuck my head out the window at the next light and gave him a piece of what he deserved... Probably not the smartest idea to tell someone that if they ever do that stupid shit again, you take out that which is the most important to them, because I meant the Hummer, and he probably thought of his family or some crap, but judging from his doucheness, he probably knew it was his Hummer too... Regardless, yesterday sucked in every aspect of the word, except for the fact that I did make a new, good friend, and that was probably the highlight of my day, besides the guys face in the hummer, because I had to talk through my sunroof to him up there in his 20 foot lift, so I'm sure it looked funny, but he must have known that I meant business... I'm going to start making stickers that say, "my other car is a penis, because I'm gay and love to ride" and anytime someone pulls a stupid maneuver on the road like this douchebag pulled, I'm going to follow them to home/work/etc, and I'm going to stick it somewhere where you don't notice it, but everyone else driving out there knows that you did something stupid, and you're undeserving of driving abilities...

I'm done venting now, and I totally feel better now, so we now return to your regularly scheduled boring life! We'll See Ya

3,017 Hummer owners just stopped their subscription to my blog because they realized I'm a dick and I hate Hummer owners after reading this blog...