Throughout a man's life, we're faced with many life changing decisions. These decisions range from what to wear out to guys night, to what place should I take her out to dinner... It's time that man takes a step into reality. Women are very cultured, independent, and very knowledgeable creatures, but yet, they still know exactly how to play us like a Nintendo Entertainment System... They know exactly what buttons to press, and when exactly to press them, almost like when we enter codes into Mortal Kombat; Timing is everything! Throughout my life, I have struggled greatly, as I'm sure most of you guys have as well, with trying to ultimately get a straight answer from your date, girlfriend, girl that is a friend, ho, etc... Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it'll never happen, and here's why...
Women are very knowledgeable on the topics that they care greatly about i.e: Shoes, clothes, styles, fashions, purses, designers, sunglasses, etc... I know guys, what the hell do we know/care about that? I'll tell you what I know about all of that:
Shoes: The last pair I bought was Nike's from Famous Footwear for $39.99.
Clothes: Jeans from Aeropostale that still hug what little ass I have for $14.99.
Styles: The last 4 outfits I wore, I wore them every Saturday, I know nothing...
Fashions: I heard that tight clothes were in, and baggy were out (I still wear baggy).
Purses: Nuff' said...
Designers: You mean Aeropostale isn't his name??? Shit...
Sunglasses: I liked George's Oakleys when I wore them, so I bought a pair... They're apparently out of style last I heard, and there's a new pair I should get for $375.00, no thanks... I'm good...
See folks, not a whole lot of thinking there on the guys part. But that's the key difference between men and women... Women are very conscientious of everything. They know if an outfit they bought in the winter will be in style by the time Spring rolls around... I couldn't tell you how many people have told me NOT to buy boating shoes, no matter the cost... But that's the difference. I buy something because I think it's funny, or trendy, FOR ME! Women buy something hoping some girl will stop her and ask her where she got that cute top from, or those shoes, or who did her nails, blah blah blah...
Therefore, I've decided to include diagrams to further pronounce my position on the complicatedness (yes it's a word because I fucking said it!):
The objective was to find a new pair of jeans, how the man does it:
As you can see, we know where to park to find the minimal distance to walk to get exactly what we need. Take note that he finds the store, and picks out what he needs, and leaves. No unnecessary trips, no stupid stops to see window shopping crap, just in and out, and the only reason he had to go out and around was because there was a group of girls outside the store conversating about clothes, shoes, purses, etc... But as you can see, a total of 13 minutes!
Now for the women:
As you can plainly see, an objective as easy as find a pair of jeans turned into a Lewis and Clark expedition to find the new world! That's just the thing with most women. They are too busy thinking about things waaaaaaaaaaaaay too far into the future, that they are thoroughly incapable of thinking about the now... This comes out in moments such as finding a place to eat for dinner, thinking about what to do on a date, etc... So in reality, this is for all the guys out there that are forced to suffer this travesty! And girls, we know that really deep down, you know what you want to eat, but you don't want to be "the one that makes the decision" so you force it on us, so when we screw up, you're not forced into the tough spot of blame... Keep it up men, no matter what, it's a losing battle!
Note: Gentlemen, there are exceptions to this rule, not ALL women are like this, but a majority is, so be careful, and choose wisely as Dane Cook says...
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