Nothing like the smell of snow in Cincinnati, and by snow I mean the havoc that it causes with Cincinnati drivers. Hold on, let me go back and get into the thick of this... So the weathermen decided to tell us that originally this storm only had "a quarter of an inch of accumulation..." Nice I thought, that's not bad, shouldn't ruin my hopes of working the next day or anything like that (but we all know with the threat of any snow that Lakota would be out). Regardless, it wasn't that bad of a snow storm it sounded like, all facts considered with the last storm we just had... Then while at work the next day, all hell breaks loose during the day. I see the storm was upgraded in the paper, and now they're saying that residents north of the Ohio River should expect to see 1 - 3 inches of snow... Ok, discerning, but still not too bad all facts considered... So about 2:30 rolls around and it's snowing like a bat out of hell, and the roads are starting to look pretty crappy. I read the paper again and I see that it's been upgraded again to 2 - 5 inches of snow accumulation... Really? You're the weatherman and that's the best you can do? So I click the poll that was optional in the story of "who's your favorite television weatherman?" So I click it to see the options, and all local channel guys are on there, but there wasn't a "none of the above" option. So I decided to send an email (comment) rather to the enquirer... It read:
Dear Enquirer,
I feel that your poll is inadequate with it's information. There is no "none of the above" option. When this storm began, it was a possible accumulation of a quarter inch. Now we've far surpassed that and it doesn't look like it's going to stop anytime soon. Therefore, I would like for you to make an option of "none of the above" because none of these clowns are capable of doing a job that requires them to tell us what the weather is going to be... Do they have college degrees? How do you land a job as a meteorologist? Are there qualifications? Because I feel that I can do a better job than they can... Just thought you should know...
Sincerely,
A concerned reader...
This is an actual copy of the letter (comment) that I posted to them. So anyways, at this point, things are crappy outside, traffic is, well for lack of a better word "all Cincinnatied up" and I still have to work for another 3 1/2 hours. The customers that are coming in are telling us how bad it is, and that we should shut down and head home before it gets crappy out... Thanks for the concern, but that'll never happen because National City doesn't care about it's employee's...
About this time, (3:30) my boss comes out of his office to tell us it looks crappy out... Thanks for the update buddy! Didn't realize it! Especially with those 11 cars sideswiped outside of our branch! His next line is priceless, and one that I'll probably never forget (but not the first time). "Well guys, it's looking pretty crappy out, so I'm going to go ahead and head home... Good luck driving tonight..." Oh really? Well in that case, I'm going to go ahead and head home too... Oh that's right, I can't just get paid for 40 hours and not work all of them, because I'm not at JACKASS status yet!!! This is my boss pictured above... (Patton)
So as the snow progressed, the roads got worse, the traffic progressively got horrible, women hit the road, etc, this picture above explains what work was like for the last couple of hours... I think I played games on the computer for the last couple of hours, or slept, or read a book...JUST KIDDING!!! We all know I don't read books!!! But anyways, so finally 6 rolls around and it's time to call it a night. After scraping 5 inches of snow and 2 inches of ice off of my windows, I finally take a look around, assessed the situation and headed home. I left the parking lot at 6:15, and the roads were as horrible as my first girlfriend in 2nd grade... Long story short, at 8:35 I arrived home, not to mention missing Scrubs at 7 - 8, and having to pee from Route 42 to the remainder of the way home!!! So yes, these kids from Lakota that are coming in today saying that they can't believe we're working, because it should be a snow day are in for a rude awakening! In the real world, you don't get snow days... And if you're under the impression that you do, I can't wait to see your resume some day... Good luck bitches, we'll see ya!
8,504,201 women are upset that I didn't mention men drivers under bad drivers, but then realize men don't get stuck, we make new paths after reading this
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