I had to think... My first thought at making fun of this picture, because this is what I think every time that I see Michael Strahan, is why is Michael Strahan advertising for Milk? Can't they find more appropriate "celebrities" to advertise for Milk? I mean, maybe a really hot swimsuit model, or some body that probably drinks a lot of milk or something like that... But after I got to thinking really, really hard about it, I thought of a great advertisement for Michael Strahan to be in:
Is he a shew-in for GAP clothing or what? I mean come on, there's plenty of other people that they could choose, I know, but the hidden meaning would DEFINITELY make him perfect for this company! That and the fact that he's FAR to incompetent in thought to EVER figure out that we were actually making fun of him, at his expense at that. Sorry Mike, but you make more money than you'll ever need, and you'll get to keep that money if you stop beating up on women you roid' popping gargantuan, but get some dental work done. I know that any dentist can help you with this, I've seen some pretty severe cases on TV, and trust me, they can fix that, and now that you're done with football, I hope for EVERYONE's sake that watches NFL on FOX that you'll consider this out-patient treatment...
Next, I've come to another conclusion. Superman is not a fictional character, but he is one among us, and hot off the press, I know his true identity! At the mercy of people asking me not to expose him, the pay offs were not NEAR what I was asking for, so I decided to take it upon myself to unveil Superman's photo to you! Here he is (and you won't find this in any paper yet, because I haven't gone public) THE REAL SUPERMAN!!!:
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a picture of Superman, or Captain Chesley B Sullenberger, as he goes by during his every day life! As you can see, we caught him out of his blue and red (too tight) outfit, but you can still see that he has been unveiled! This man truly is out there protecting the world from Terrorism! On January 15th, 2009 Captain Chesley B Sullenberger was matched up against one of the airways most dangerous terrorists, and we have an exclusive picture of the two suicide dive bombers responsible! Only at rhoopes.blogspot.com can you catch these kinds of photos before they're leaked to the major league papers!
On the morning of January 15th, 2009, Captain Chesley B Sullenberger or Superman as I'm going to refer to him as saved his on board passengers from near death as he landed the plane that he was flying at the time in the Hudson River. There is no doubt, they say, that they would have died without the flying abilities of Superman. Now, don't get me wrong, but wasn't this guy just doing what he was trained to do? Do you see a news crew on their knee's bowing to me every time I refund an overdraft fee, or make a deposit to someone's account, because that's what I'm trained to do??? Yes, I'm glad that everyone made it, and is alive, but don't we think it's about time to give this guy a break? He obviously doesn't want all of the media attention that he's getting because when given a parade and day of praise in his hometown, he gave a press conference that was built up more than Obama's Inauguration day conference, and all he said was "I'm just glad I was able to do what I did, and save their lives!" Wow, all that hour build up for that? I mean really, give the guy a break, this was a freak accident, and he did what he was trained to do in that situation... Thank God, Thank Superman, let's move on... Dead horse was brought back to life to be beaten to death and repeat this over and over... Let it go...
Next, and my personal favorite, Obama. Today, Ken and I were shunned at work for talking politics, if that's even what you want to call it. I have a big problem with Obama, and Ken said it best, therefore I will quote him: "The guy acts like he's still campaigning, and what he really needs to do is be the President..." I mean, when you look at it, that's exactly what it is... This guy is basically a glorified John Kerry... However, my first problem stems with race. I personally was given the chance to look in-depth into Obama's life, and here's one interesting fact that I never knew about him:
HE'S BLACK!!!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a little known fact about Barack Obama, he's black... And if you listen to the news right now, you might hear something about this! I swear to everything that's holy, that if they mention it one more time, I'm going to kill myself before his crappy stimulus plan kills me! (that's fast in case you didn't know it!!!) What I find even funnier than that is the fact that they use this as some historical step in our history! First off, he's not black, his complexion is obviously, but he's mixed at best, and last I checked, everyone wants a purebred, not a mut! Second, his inexperience in positions like this are uncanny! I had a photo opportunity when I was recently in Washington, and caught our beloved new President on the job, hard at work:
I must say I was little impressed, because he was on the phone with Congress while they were busy reading over their copies of the stimulus plan they just passed, hopefully they don't read upside down like he talks! Ironically, I did find it a play on words and picture for that matter because he does just that... He must have a bad case of JohnKerryitus. It's where you contradict yourself during every speech you give to the American public, yes, the same stupid American public that voted you in... Let's take a look at some of these contradictions and rather hilarious statements you've made during the course of your short term thus far:
1.) Marking the anniversary of the March 1965 "Bloody Sunday" in Selma, Ala., Obama, speaking at a church, said his parents got together "because of what happened in Selma." Obama was born in 1961.
2.) Obama told Larry King on CNN -- asked about that anti-Hillary Rodham Clinton YouTube ad, a doctored version of a spot created for Apple computers -- "We don't have the technical capacity to create something like that."
3.) Obama, asked if homosexuality was immoral, in the wake of comments by Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman Gen. Peter Pace, sidestepped the question. After pressure from gay groups, Obama issued a statement stating he did not agree with Pace "that homosexuality is immoral."
4.) Another Obama stump line -- he said it again Tuesday morning to the Communications Workers of America here -- is that "I've been long enough in Washington to know that Washington needs to change." He is running against Washington yet his campaign is populated with political professionals who are Washington insiders.
5.) One of Obama's stump lines is that the biggest obstacle he fights is not any of his rivals, it is cynicism. He used a variation of it during a reception he hosted at a conference here sponsored by AIPAC, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee. Displaying a tin ear, Obama said that one of the enemies is not "just terrorists" or "just Hezbollah" or "just Hamas" -- "it's also cynicism."
6.) Bill Burton, an Obama spokesman, said in reaction to the Obama stumbles: "If there are people looking for a candidate running to be the darling of the Washington insider crowd, this campaign is not for them. We are encouraged by the growing, unflinching support of Americans who believe we can transform our country by changing our politics."
Interesting, I could have sworn that this wasn't what you said when you trying to get elected... It's so weird that you're saying all of this now, because it seems like all that you said was just to get voted in, and now you're just the democrats scapegoat! Good luck buddy! But let's not stray from the fact that Ken and I have been shunned from work about talking politics, and the people that shunned us were apparent "Obama supporters..." Lets see if they still support him while they're getting screwed by the very man they voted in... No wonder McCain seceded to Obama, he knew he was going to screw the American public, and he is going to get a good kick out of it, and no one is going to be able to fix the government in 4 - 8 years, so why not let it be our new historical leader right? Good choice McCain, we'll get them after this short lived 4 year term!
Anyways, that's all I've got for you guys today, just some irrelevant things I've noticed recently that I thought were funny... If you feel that some have been omitted, please let me know, and I will do my best to do an update piece! We'll See Ya!
4 people just realized that Obama really IS black... And are now wishing they hadn't voted...
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