So I was sent this picture in an email, and after seeing it, I realized that this was my calling, and I pretty much had to blog about this. I had to bring this to the attention of the World because, yes, it is that good. The only sad thing that I truly have to report, is that this is truly a TRUE THING. This really is a gang titled "Icey Hot Stunna's..." I mean, really? When I saw this, I had to think that it was a hoax or something like my friends and I would do when we play beer pong or something, but no, sadly, this is true... Let's detail the fallacies in this photo as we go on exploration with this photo:
A.) Mitsubishi Eclipse... Really? That's truly gangster, because you never see those cars around, EVER! Those are expensive cars, BACK WHEN IT WAS NEW IN 1996!!! Of all things, it's the lowest end model of the Eclipse. I am impressed however, it's the only eclipse that I've seen that DOESN'T have a Blitz Body Kit like you're from Fast and the Furious! Irregardless, it's not a Benz or a Bentley or you know, something that rich people (stunna's) drive.
B.) The Tupac Head Bandana... Ok, you're not gangster sitting on the hood of your eclipse... Not even to mention your watch and bracelet combo. Must be that $10 Marc Ecko combination purchase from Gabriel Brothers... Plus I totally enjoy his elementary school snikes... On to the next one...
C.) Ford Ranger, everything you need to ball on the farm! There's no other truck that I can think of that makes it rain harder than the Ranger... I mean, seriously! Do you really think that your Ranger is "cool" or "stuntin'???" There should be a law somewhere that prohibits the "tricking out" of Rangers and considering it "cool..." I mean, I have seen people attempt to trick them out with body kits, and hydraulics and things of that nature. But he doesn't even go for a shiny grill piece or fender flares or anything.
D.) Really? Those neon green construction pants are AMAZING! They really flow well with your wanna-be white tee (dresses as I call them), and your white bandana. It's really too bad that I can't see his shoes, because judging from the other shoes worn by these thugs (douches') they're probably the same New Balances that my dad wears... Real gangster... I also really wish that I could zoom in on this picture because they all have some sort of wrist bands on, now I don't know if that's a tracking device that Juvenile Detention Centers loan out for petty thefts of chap stick at Walmart or what, but they all have them, so I'm rolling with that idea... Nice chain by the way, buy one, get 2 free from Traders World, or was it Turtle Creek? Maybe Piercing Pagoda???
E.) Where's the bandana? Are you the leader (if that's what we would call you)? No shirt, no exuberant colored pants to go along with your flaming homosexual personality... I just don't get it, you have to be the leader of this clown posse (I mean circus parade). Besides that, let's examine what he does have: He does have a backwards hat (notably cool), no shirt (prison partners favorite), old school Adidas that look like they've spent a lot of time "slangin" on the basketball court at the Trailer Park picnic, and the same wrist bracelets. I'm pretty sure he's got a tattoo, but I can't tell because it partly looks like he's trying to cover it up. Probably his girlfriend (domestic violence partner) that left him when she moved out of the trailer park with mom). Seriously, the leader of this group??? That's a point in time where you're a winner, and a loser at the same time... Didn't I see you at Kings Island 14 years ago??? (Wasn't P&G day, I'll tell you that much...)
F.) Pontiac Firebird... Stolen??? That's a nice car for a "thug" (ring leader) to have... I really can't rag too much on him, unless it's the one that his dad got arrested for for his 5th O.V.I. in 2 months, so they repoed the car or something like that, but there's got to be something I'm missing here...
G.) Nothing like some 14" Walmart rims to really set your firebird off... I mean, that's a grand total of maybe, $25??? Must have been that drug money from selling your dad's Viagra thinking it's Oxycontin or something... You may get a way with that in the Trailer Park, but not out in the real world buddy... Chrome is for Caddy's, leave it that way...
H.) Now I know for a fact that these rims ARE at Walmart, the Firebird is just a guess... I haven't been in the department since I got out of the, what seemed to be "racing period" in my life. But I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that these are Walmart rims. But when you live in the remote trailer parks, you have to go to the only place you know that can trick out your car... I think they actually flow well though, however, I think he's making monthly payments on them because you can't see any of the other rims, so he probably just took the hubs off the back ones until he can afford the next 3 rims, in which he'll put those on, and take another picture...
I.) Now most people that own this car to "trick out" or "pimp out" usually put the Blitz body kit on it, (watch the first Fast and the Furious, the green eclipse at the beginning), but you went conservative, and left it stock... Have to give you credit, instead of an unpainted body kit that doesn't fit right and mismatches the rest of the car, you stayed smart... Kudos to you... Or props as you may call it, I don't know, I'm straight, so I don't know the lingo, but you get the picture...
So what else can I say for these guys? I mean, I know when I was in those car tricking out stages, we had moments of not using our heads and things like that, but some people (said above culprits) took it too many steps over the line, and made it a way of life... I don't know how well the trailer park in Kentucky takes it that they own anything other than Ford's, but that's probably why they "beat in" the Ranger... I wish this was a reality show to see what these guys actually do as "a crew..." I have to admit, as much as I would hate to watch it, I would... I just want to see where they're at now... See who's mad at who for making their car slightly faster than the others. See the battles that have happened between the clown posse... You know you'd watch it too... I'm done hating now... We'll See Ya!
2 people have actually seen these guys in a remote part of Kentucky "sitting sidewayz".... And they realized that they were once gay too after reading this blog...
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