Here's a short list since I haven't written anything in awhile and people are starting to wonder where I went lately of things that I'll never do, and explanations as to why I won't do them...10.) I will never, ever wear Make Up. I'm not emo, and I'm not gay. There's just some things in life that guys should NEVER, EVER do, and that is definitely wear make up. I'm so against guys wearing make up that I won't even do it for a Halloween costume. I mean, it's allowable for Halloween, pending how funny the costume is, but if it's not very funny, then you're just gay. As for any other time, it's a man law violation for a man to wear make up. (See metrosexual blog).
9.) I will never attend an emo concert. For one of many reasons. First reason being that I hate emo people, children, anything that goes along with the word "emo." First of all, I have never truly met a real "emo" person. Partly because emo is supposed to be reserved for those people that really listen to their own styles of music, and have their own true style. The people that consider themselves "emo" all go together to the mall to shop at the same "emo wanna-be" shop Hot Topic. Here's an idea, don't shop at trendy, trashy stores at the mall if you're trying to be an individual... Just an idea idiot...
8.) I will never see The Notebook. Sorry ladies, and some of you gentlemen that have told me it's actually a pretty good movie. I'm sorry, but it's just not going to happen, so let it go. I've heard stories about it, and it's a chick flick. I don't even care if Carmen Electra asked me to watch it with her, I still would not watch it. There's a thing called principals, although I don't have many, and many of you reading can attest to this, but this is definitely one that I strongly uphold.
7.) I will never say "no pun intended." This is simply because the people that say that, know that the pun was intended, and are just saying that because they think you're an idiot, and wouldn't catch it unless they stated that it wasn't something that it really was... You follow that? Idiot... When I say something that is a play on words, or a pun, I will not say it, because I know you're smart enough to catch it, and if you aren't, then I won't laugh when you don't, because then I'll know 110% that you have no idea what I'm talking about. But yes, it's something you'll never hear me say, trust me...
6.) I will never be a vegetarian. God intended all men and women to eat meat, no matter what. It's part of a balanced diet, and to go against God, well, you know, that's what we call, "not good." Not eating meat is worse for you than eating meat, trust me. There's proteins in meat that your body needs for a healthy balance, and not eating it is really bad for you, so just eat it. Vegans are queers (see metrosexuals blog).
5.) I will never grow my hair out like these shaggy haired degenerate California wanna be skater punks. I hate the fact that these queers shake their heads constantly when you're telling them that they can't skateboard around your car in the parking lot. They keep throwing their heads around trying to keep their highlighted shaggy hair out of their eyes. Maybe you'd land more tricks if you weren't blinded by your crappy Ryan Seacrest dyed hair, just an idea, I'm just saying. You're not cute, you're not funny, and you're definitely not from California. (Those from Cali, I'm sorry, carry on with your business). Cut your hair pansies, and find a damn skate park or I'll kill you and break your skateboard, in no particular order...
4.) I will never cheer for the Steelers, even though I said I would. I was just upset with the Bengals. I bleed black and orange, which I'm starting to think could just be Halloween, because I'm completely dissatisfied with the Bengals, but I'm still hoping that it's really I just like the Bengals. I believe that everyone should cheer for their hometown team, which is why I'm also not a OSU fan, that upon many other reasons. But I'm a Bearcats fan, even though they're not very good either... In other words, Cincinnati sucks at everything, except for maybe Hockey, but still, I love them...
3.) I will never sell the first gun I bought... I will never let go of my first shotgun. I love it far too much to ever let anything happen to it. It will definitely be something I give to my son someday to pass on through generations. I don't care if I get kicked out on the streets and have nothing but that gun, but I will always have that gun... There's just some things in life that must be kept at all costs, and I don't even care if Obama tries to take it away, it will always be in my possession until I bestow the honor upon my only honorable son...
2.) I will never watch Sex in the City. This is a given, more or less than it is something I will just never do. The show is clearly for women, about women, and quite frankly, I don't have the patience or sheer will power to even attempt to watch the introduction to the show. If I even see it in my guide on Dish, I start to get alittle queasy... Speaking of which, just thinking about those old, wrinkled broads makes my stomach upset... NEXT!
1.) I will never go on a diet. I know that I am blessed with all of the metabolism that I have, that I don't have to work out, I can eat whatever I want, and never gain a thing, in fact, I'd probably lose weight. But God has a plan for me, and if it's to get fat and huge like a trucker, well then, so be it! You can't stop the inevitable. Diets just aren't for me. They're for people that care, and anyone that knows me, and I mean really knows me knows I'm careless...
So there you have it, 10 things I'll never do... Now get off my back about updating my blogs...
We'll See Ya!
645,043 people just mentally pictured me as an overweight trucker and thought it was horribly disgusting but would still be my friend...
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