In today's rapidly changing world of technology, cars, etc... One group stands out and alone as not being able to accept the changing culture, and not being able to upgrade to the levels of thinking on which is required to accept these changes. That group, is old people... If you're one of those lovey dovey, I accept all people for their flaws types, then I STRONGLY advise you to quit reading now, and wait for another sunshine and rainbow like blog, which isn't going to be anything that I have readily available anytime soon (probably ever)! Old people, on numerous, in fact countless occasions have proven to typical mankind that they are not capable of doing anything on their own. They are quite possibly the worst drivers, their inability to use a common day computer just boggles my mind, and the fact that they choose to use the self checkout self scan at Kroger is just senseless...
Lets start where it hits me the most: Driving. Old people drivers are quite possibly the worst thing to encounter when out on the road, because they literally, after the 300 years they have been on this Earth, have forgotten what speed limits, center lines, and fast lanes are. Guess what? The rest of the civilized life forms on this Earth haven't forgotten these things! So here's an idea, old people are pretty much useless, they're wasting our Social Security, they're killing all kinds of drivers when they fall asleep at the wheel, or just plain drive their boat of a Cadillac onto on-coming traffic because their Tri-focals don't work as well as when they were just glasses. My solution: At the age of 60, all people, of all races at the age of 60 must retake the eye exam, and driving test at no cost to them. If they pass, then they must retake this test every 5 years, and they will not lose their license. In the event that they do not pass, then they are to lose their license until they pass on to whatever inevitable hell they will cause me later in life. It may sound harsh, but when I got places to go, they're always in the way, and not following the rules of the road.
Computers: Watching old people use a computer is like watching retards make love. Just not happening. I see this all the time at the bank, and online banking and old people go together like a swing set in the fast lane of the highway... (That's not good in case you didn't know that... I don't know your parents, so...) I mean, they had typewriters that have the same keying, and same things, instead, all that you have to do is look at a television like screen instead of fingers, I mean, yea, that's not as fun to look at a screen when you could look at your rheumatoid arthritis like fingers, trust me, I know... Realistically, if you can't start a computer, and hit start to access programs, then let's be real, you probably shouldn't be on this Earth...
Cell Phones: Jitterbug? That's the best name you could come up with for this old person-esque cell phone? George Michael's should be PISSED! They're basically calling him old by putting his song title with this piece of crap (not that I feel bad for that child molester, but either way)... This phone doesn't even have an on-board phonebook, you have to call some service that keeps track of all of your stuff for you over the phone. I bet those operators love their jobs. They even say in the commercial that their US Based phone service operators, so your grandparents don't have to deal with Arabs trying to tell them how to work their phones... My main question is, why do old people need cell phones? They don't go out to the bars at night, most of the time, all of their friends are dead or don't move other than to drool. Lets be realistic, your children do not want you to have a cell phone just to call and bother them either, that's why they put you in a home far, far away from them... THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!
Here's my solution... If your parents ever told you that they took your old dog to the farm where he/she will have a much easier life, then you later found out they put him down... Well, TA DA!!! Easy, simple, painless procedure, and I will do it for you for free! In reality, this is just for the greater good of everyone! Just think about it...
We'll See Ya!
8,540,320 people feel bad that they put their parents in a home, but still completely understand where I am coming from and support me...
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