"A Journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles..." - Tim Cahill
Step back and think about that for a second. This is a quote I recently read off of my friends video he had made for a Travel scholarship. It really hit me when I read it because I gave deep thought to the beginning of my life, and all the friends I have, had, and are likely to come into contact with later in life. I think people sit around too much and think about what their life should be like, and focus too little on what's happening right now. People sometimes seem to forget that you only get one life, and you have to make the most of it. Whether you want to explore the world, live in a foreign country, or simply start a daily workout routine; the only way you're going to accomplish any of it is if you actually do it. Think about this: "Today is tomorrow's yesterday! Did you accomplish anything you had hoped to?" Did you set a goal for the day and strive to accomplish it? Probably not. You probably went to class or work, sat there all day being bored, and left work, went home and drank a beer and watched tv. That's because your life is programmed this way.
If you look back at Elementary school, you think about all the tests and things that they put you through, to find out what you're interested in to see what jobs you should start looking into. THIS IS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! The biggest thing I was concerned with then was my dodgeball team in gym class! That, and the fact that those tests told me I should be a woodworker, a fighter pilot, or a video game tester... What a relief! Good thing those are all in the same field! Really?!?! There's no test out there that is going to tell you what job you'd be "happy" doing, just what you'd be "better suited" to do. You want the true test to figure out what's going to make you happy in life? GET OUT THERE AND TRY THINGS! Try things you'd never thought you'd get the chance to do! Jump off of a bridge! Go to Walmart at 1:30 in the morning! Go to Traders World! Skydive! Wear your shoes in the house (that's more fitting for a daredevil like myself)! The only way we are ever going to be happy is if we think about the things we've done over the years, and think about the things we've always wanted to do! No test we were ever given asked us what we really wanted to do when we grew up! We never knew as children that firemen do a lot more than drive their truck in a parade. We didn't know what entailed in being a video game tester or a fighter pilot. We just knew what we knew from the 2 second clips on television... I say, fuck the 9 - 5 if that's what you don't want to do, then don't do it! If you want to take a year off and travel the world, then save up and do it! Accomplish your dreams before your goals and your life will be much more fulfilling. They say that you should do a job that you're happier doing than one that pays you a ton of money. In reality, money doesn't make happiness, sure it makes a great down payment, but in the end you'll be much happier when you're doing something you love...
You don't have to take my word for it, I'm a 25 year old college drop out, looking to go back to school for what is likely the wrong reasons. I have one DUI and one terrible driving record. I live in my parents basement for free and eat their food. I was an average C+ to C student in high school. I was a C to D student in college because I put in minimal to no effort at all to which I later just stopped going. I never did anything newsworthy with my life, and I'm starting to accept the fact that I probably never will. That is until I really sat down and got to know myself. I think a lot about things that my friends tell me. The other night I was out drinking a few beers with my friend Cubbie and his girlfriend, and he said to me that since my DUI, he has really seen me mature. Now whether or not that's just something that I slid by doing, or if I really did manage to grow up, I may never know... It means something when your friends tell you something, even if they're making fun of you. When I look back and think about the things that I've done, whether it's something I said or did, or something I thought about doing, I realize how stupid I was sometimes. However, that's what made my character. Sometimes you have to look back at what you've done to steer clear of repeat offenses in the future. Think about this: "What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn't fail?"
There's so many things I would have done with my life if I had thought about this early on... But why did I not end up doing it? Because of a "social norm?" Because I was afraid of failure? Because I was afraid of being an outcast? I want to tell you a little story about my high school experience that brought me out of my shell: It all began my senior year of high school in a creative writing course. She was the beautiful, highly popular, top of the line girl. I was a swimmer and never really talked to anyone other than swimmers, but none of them were in my class, so I never really talked to anyone. I hated being in front of crowds, let alone talking about my "creative writing" stories in front of the class. During the first week of class, everyone did as they always do and sat in their cliques. Jocks and Cheerleaders, Nerds, Non-socials, and me in the very back seat in the middle of the room. I sat back there with a friend from the neighborhood that was rather popular as well, but we talked here and there. I was the end of the property line for the cheerleader/jock zone and in front of me sat the most beautiful girl of the group in school. That didn't bother me seeing that I never had a chance to talk to a girl like that because I was far too afraid to even risk a social outcast like that. That would have the potential to be the fastest outcasting of any one person in history, yes HISTORY! In a basic sense, I sat in the back, did my work and never talked much. On speech days I would wait to be dead last before the bell so no one would pay attention anyways. About 3 weeks into the class, we were critiquing each others speeches, and we had to switch with someone we had never switched with before. As I'm sitting there contemplating how I'm going to pull this one off, Lindsay turns around and asks me how I'm doing and if I'd like to take a look at her paper for her, and she'll look at mine... Just like in a movie like American Pie, I didn't know what to say, so I sat there fumbling words like an idiot. She knew I was intimidated, she had to have, because I was starting to sweat and turn red I'm sure. So finally after coming to, I agreed silently and we were off to work. She had the most beautiful hand-writing, and it only seemed fitting for such a beautiful girl. She read my paper, and I read hers and she gave mine back and mentioned she loved swimming, and she used to be a swimmer when she was a kid, but gave up because she sucked. At that point, I'm so lost in her eyes looking at her that I just say "it's not for everyone..." Wow... Way to go Maverick... Talk about "Incredibly Unsmooth!!!" Instead of getting the quick turn around or "douchebag" response, I ended up getting a "you're funny" and a cute laugh. Every day after that she made it her duty to say hello and talk to me. I was still unsure of her motive behind this. Why would one of the most beautiful girls in school want to talk to me? Is there a bet? A deeper meaning to this? Something I'm just missing? After a speech one day, she asked me why I was so red? She asked why I seemed so nervous? I told her because I don't like being in front of people, let alone talking about things in my life. She kept with the line of questioning, and before I knew it, I realized she wasn't just half listening to me, but she actually was talking and concerned about what I was saying. Which basically made things about 1000x harder to understand as to why... She told me something very important that I have always taken with me, that for some reason stuck with me, and jolted me out of the quiet shell I was in. "Who really cares what other people think?" Seems simple right? It really was much easier than you think. When you seem like you're out of touch, and you're nervous about what others might say and think, just think "who really cares what other people think?" That one phrase pretty much changed my life. By the end of that class, and my high school career, I could never stop thinking about her, and that phrase. (No, nothing ever happened with her, but she's off and married now, graduated college, and is very happy in which I'm happy for her)...
I ended up going to college at Bowling Green State University, and I was a completely different person than I was in high school. I never cared what anyone thought about what I was saying or doing, because that's how I felt. I had no problem speaking in front of a lecture room of 150 students. It didn't phase me presenting a project in a huge class, all because I stopped caring what people thought about me. I sometimes look back and wonder why I never had the balls to ask her out on a date sometime. All because I was too afraid of the consequences. In life, we don't have the time to worry about the consequences. We have to follow our dreams, and disown this theory of social norms. If I want to sing in Krogers aisles while I'm shopping, I'm sure as hell going to do it. If I want to sing Toby Keith at the bar, trust me, I'm going to do it. You never know, you may find something you're good at, and have fun doing! If you would look back at High School Ryan and Today's Hoopes, you'd see 2 completely different people. Although a lot of things have since changed after the DUI, but my personality never was surrendered, and my goals and dreams were never changed. I just wish people would push the envelope sometimes! I wish that people would open up to people. I was always the type that showed no emotion, and never talked about how I felt, which is probably why I had a short temper, and little patience. I have no problem throwing MYSELF under the bus, but people just need to open up and let themselves free from their insides! The only way people will change is by letting people in. There's no doubt that friends, people we think are our friends, and even strangers are going to fuck us over, but that's part of life, take it with a grain of salt. Accept the fact that there's parts of life that you have absolutely no control over, and move along. Don't sit and dwell on wrong doing, move on and think about how to correct it. Alternately, think about and always do what's going to make you the happiest. Remember, you only have one life to live, and it's yours to do with what you wish. Strive for success and happiness, they're the best paycheck you'll ever get.
We have to, as a country, as a group of people, break our own social norms to become a better society. However, we can't do that without bettering ourselves. We have become a divided nation. Things are coming back to being based on wealth, class, race, popularity, etc... I heard this line in a song, and it really made me think about how I act in life:
"There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol...
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on!
Why am I judging this poor bastard?!?
People love to judge homeless guys...
Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do?!?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He's homeless!"
This was always my method of thought. Because that's what we were always taught. It's a stereotype. Now more than ever people are losing their homes, their jobs, and we don't care because our ass is covered... What if it wasn't? What if your job security just disappeared? You'd want help to right? Why are we judging these people? We're really no better than anyone else, and until we see that, we will never be a perfect society... I'm not saying give all your money to a homeless person, just think about what you'd want if you were him... We really should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before we judge them, because we don't know what their life is like.
Recently, I've come to the conclusion that marriage may ultimately not be for me... Hell, a serious relationship may never be for me. I'm content with that, because I know I have a lot of growing up to do before I'm able to take on something like a serious relationship. Although I have something special, I may over analyze and expect too much out of it and further destroy it. I try to push my beliefs and ways of thinking on others, and I think I expect them to follow it and obey it, but in reality, I learned by fucking up, and I now believe that I can't expect people to take what I say into consideration, because I told people to fuck off when they were trying to tell me the same thing. I just have to sit back and watch as they grow. You can't expect people to take your advice, you can just give it and let them do with it what they please. As much as it may suck sometimes, people are going to do what they want when the cards are down. I have further accepted that...
"Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will"
Basically, the point I want to get across is that your life is your life, although people are going to push you to do things a certain way, it's truly up to you to form and follow your own destiny. I can lecture you all day on the things that I've done, and the lessons I've learned from doing so, and you may sit and listen, but in reality, you're going to form your own opinions, and follow your own lifestyle, in which you should because you will learn a greater lesson. If everyone sat around and thought about doing something, but to stay on the safe side, did nothing, then we would be a third world nation. It's because of the people that risk it all, and go for broke that we are where we are today. I will however tell you the some of the greatest things I've learned to live by and risks that I've taken: Live your life to the fullest, smile when you're sad, double down on a 19, take risks (even if it's eating a McChicken with buffalo sauce), listen to others advice but sometimes take it with a grain of salt, don't dime out your friends no matter the cost, people are going to lie to you but it's up to you to not do the same in return, God has your back through everything, sometimes you're the best listener for yourself, sit outside in the rain on occasion, and most importantly, be the best person you can possibly be, because when you let your light shine, it's makes others want to do the same... We'll See Ya
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