Who Would Have Though That My Trip To Taco Bell Would Be An Important Lesson In Investments???

Wow... That's how if I needed to explain my lunch time adventure in one word, I would... Truly an experience above all experiences today. So 1:15 rolls around, and the difficult decision of McDonald's, Wendy's, Skyline, Popeye's, or Taco Bell returns again for another day. So today, I decided to go with the norm of my branch, and get Taco Bell, as not to throw anyone off and keep suspicions low on who the mole is... I know, I know, smart thinking Hoopes. Well, little did I know I would find the financial guru under heavy cover working at Taco Bell... But, before I get to that point, let me just clarify a couple of things that will make this story subtly more simple for you to understand. I, Hoopes, do solemnly swear to tell this story in it's entirety, and will not fib any details on which the conversation ran with said Taco Bell employee's. Under no circumstance will I take what was said during this conversation to heart, and or employment matters. I do however have to warn the reader(s) that this is a true event, under which I will share every detail to the best of my knowledge, so help me God...

As you may already know, if not, you will, that I work at National City Bank as a teller in Liberty Township (yes, the one outside the Kroger Marketplace). Everyday that I work I am forced with the decision on what to eat, and today, I just happened to pick Taco Bell. So I get in my car, and drive over the 100 foot paces it takes to get to Taco Bell, and roll to the drive through. Amongst the many choices of what to get, I order a chicken quesidilla (delicious by the way), a chili cheese burrito (mediocre by all means), and 2 cheese roll ups (one was dank, the other had tomatoes, not so excited about the second one, but 3 out of 4 ain't bad). I'm only telling you this so you can put yourself in my shoes. So I get the "that'll be $5.66 please pull up to the first window, thank you!" So I pull up to the window to pay what's due. At this point I'm going to go ahead and switch over to dialogue scroll for easier reading... I know, you're welcome!

Her: "Hi, how are you today? That'll be $5.66."

Me: "I'm good, thank you..." (hand her my National City Diamond Edition Check Card)

Her: "Do you need any sauces today?"

Me: "No thanks, I'm ok."

Her: "Ok" (she examines my card)

-At this point, I think she's going to ask me where I got the card from...

Her: "Hm, National City, did you know they filed for Bankruptcy this morning?"

Me: "I didn't hear that..."

Her: "Yeah, so if I were you, I'd be pulling my money out and putting it in a safe deposit box because if the bank goes under, then the Government can't touch your money, it's against some regulation..."

Me: "Oh really? Yeah, well, I work there, so..."

Her: "Oh, well I would be looking for another job... I used to work for a Financial Firm for 18 years, and when they say a bank or financial institution is going down, you better believe it's going down..."

Me: "Well, thanks for the advice..." (At which point I wanted to act really surprised and ask if she thinks Taco Bell would hire me, but I decided to go ahead and not screw up my chances at Taco Bell just yet... I mean what if this Financial Guru in disguise is right, and my highly capitalized bank goes under???"

Her: "No problem, we have to watch out for each other, because you know the Government won't..."

Me: "Thanks again! Have a good day!"

Her: "You too, good luck!"

Car: "vrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmm"

-----------End of dialogue-----------

So I'm sitting here now at work, wondering if my job's in jeopardy... Was it an angel is disguise warning me of my imminent disastrous future? Or was it a demon trying to discourage me off of my path to success as CEO at National City Bank? I guess we'll have to wait out the "run on the banks." We'll See Ya

-8,609 people now seek financial advice from Taco Bell employees after reading this...

Give The Power Back To The People...

As you may already know, I'm a Republican, and if you didn't know that, well, now you know... I'm hardcore Republican, and whether or not you like that, I don't really care to be honest with you, however, I do disbelieve in the theory that Republicans and Democrats can't work together or see I to eye. I believe that we can in fact work together because as Governor Ted Strickland has shown, most Conservatives love the Castle Doctrine that was recently signed by Stickland in September. However, there is still much concern stirring up against Gun Regulators, and amongst Obama's campaign. But before I dive into the one new bill that made me proud to be an American, and gave me more respect toward the democrats, let's take a look at the old "Right to Kill" law before Strickland signed in the Castle Doctrine, because there is much confusion about when one is "justified" to shoot to kill in one's "self-defense." (Note: This law does not apply to all states in the United States, so be sure to visit your state's law's website before entering the state with a concealed weapon).

Previous Ohio Gun Law and the self-defense law stated that an individual by law is not in justification to defend themselves if they have the option to retreat peacefully... There as, if they have a window or a door that they are able to escape to when someone breaks in, they must resort that option and leave to let their property be robbed of them. They are in no right to shoot the person with the intent to kill them. This led to people shooting the intruder anyways, and the person in possession of the property could be sued by the intruders family for manslaughter, murder, etc... Which if you ask me, is just not right in any way, and it took some time for lawmakers to realize this travesty. However, in June 2008, Gun Owners would finally have a say in what self-defense really stands for in America.

In June 2008, a bill was passed, and signed by Strickland there by allowing LEGAL Gun Owners the right to defend themselves in their home and vehicle. However, to have your gun in your car, you have to be a Carry Conceal Weapon License owner (which for $55.00, a passport photo, a clean record, and 12 hours of class time with an NRA certified teacher, you can be too). The new bill, the Castle Doctrine, was signed by Strickland in June 2008, and was put into effect 90 days after signing. Therefore, in the early weeks of September 2008, the bill officially gave the right to gun owners to shoot with the intent to kill if your house is broken into. The order to retreat all options was lifted, and rights were given back to the American people. With much dismay to Gun Regulators (haters) the battle then began. Although, there's a lot of people that are on both sides of the fence with this law. The Regulators believe that this is going to make the states that approve the Castle Doctrine a Wild West town, and Clint Eastwood is going to run the bandits out of town. However, I strongly disagree. I believe that if you are a law-abiding citizen, you should have the right to protect your property with whatever force necessary. I believe that no person shall unlawfully break into anyone's house or property, with the intent to steal, and not have to pay the consequences. Now do I believe that they should have to pay the ultimate price for trying to steal my television, my computer, etc? Absolutely not, but with crime rates the way they are, and criminals possessing the weapons they are, I say, don't give them a fighting chance.

As a law-abiding citizen, I believe that this has individualized the pride in America to the people that are out there working, and trying to make our economy stronger, while the people that are only out there to get a quick buck, are paying the price for our hard work. I hope that this somewhat clears up what rights we have as Americans when it comes to self-defense involving weapons. If not, you're dumb as a box of rocks, and I pray to God you do not own a weapon. Guns are not for everyone, don't get me wrong, but the people that lawfully have them, deserve them, and understand the responsibility it takes to have them. So leave us alone, or we'll kill you... I'm kidding, but seriously... We'll See Ya

-543 people just went out to buy a gun to get a CCW after reading this...

2 Minutes Of My Life Wasted By This Stupid Show...

So somehow, by some divine miracle, I was able to find something that I hate more than Apple Store, more than John Madden, more than stupid commercials with fake crazy characters, and yes, even more than old woman drivers... Enter "Sex In The City" or as I call it, "Knock Out Sleeping Remedy..." In my lifetime thus far, I have by accident caught a total of 2 minutes of this show, and let me state for the record, it was worse then being at work for 10 hours, or maybe 40 hours, I don't even know... Just listening to their annoying, whiney, bitchy voices is enough to put me into a state of psychotic rage... Although, thank God I fell asleep because if I had to suffer for longer than 2 minutes, I might have taken my own life. I'm going to keep this one nice and short... Number one, I hate this show, number two, I hate the actors/actresses, number three, the show sucks (let alone the cast and movie), number four, I hate people that like this show... We'll See Ya

-865,768 men just sighed in unison as they read this article and realized that the sex wasn't worth watching the show...

Saying Goodbye To A Dear Friend...

As we all know, and if you don't, obviously, we're not as good of friends as you had originally hoped, which yes, sucks for you, I have been the original "Regular" at this establishment from the very day it opened... I was here for Burger nights every Wednesday night, and I was there LONG before there was ever a DJ in the basement, or a door you could use to go directly downstairs, and even before Santa Clause was working the door ID'ing those less fortunate. I really feel that I have lost a piece of my heart, because this weekend, I not only lost hope and the willingness to watch my Bengal's anymore, but I also lost my second home. For those of you that know me, and my natural order of things, you know every Friday that was the spot to chill in the basement and hit on married bartenders and check the floor for Ronies and Strange...

I'm not writing this because Brazenhead is closing or anything of that nature, it's simply come down to my favorite bartenders are leaving to work for a closer, newer Irish Pub on Union Center, which I guess in a way makes me happy, but at the same time, it's going to be hard not going back to a place that everyone, and yes, I mean everyone knows your name and what you drink without you even saying a word. They knew all of my friends by name, asked how I was doing, how the family was, and it really was a home away from home. Filled with good times of passing out in the bushes, puking in the bushes, and just those times you'll never forget that are sometimes hard to remember without your friends nearby... It's such a hard decision to leave a place that means so much to me, but more importantly, it's harder to lose bartenders that know you so well, and you pretty much suck it up and follow them wherever you go, and that's what I have to do... So, today, on this day, September 29th, 2008, I say to you Brazenhead, thank you for the good times, the great times, and the not so great times, you are truly that of something greater than great itself, and the time we have spent together (and the money) was all well worth it... But as an old English Proverb once said "all good things must come to an end" and thus we have arrived at that moment. So Thanks Again Brazenhead, you were there for me when I was up, and when I was down, like a good friend should be... I bid you farewell... We'll See Ya

-45 people just realized that I'm not going to Brazenhead anymore and are sadly disheartened by that fact after reading this...

You Don't Play For Us, We Don't Pay For You...

After the travesty that was the Browns Game, and yes, let me say again for the record, the BROWNS game, I came to the conclusion that I've officially had enough for this season. The fact that I acutally finished watching the game was so disheartening. And I know there's the fans out there that are going to say "if we would have had Palmer in, we could have won the game, or at least had done a lot better..." I'm sorry, as much as I love the Bengal's, I'm tired of making excuses for them, because I'm the one listening to Marvin Lewis after the game saying that there's things they "did right and things they did wrong..." I'm sorry, but I didn't see one thing that looked relatively good, unless we're talking about the Browns Defense, that looked good, but of course it did, they were playing a team that played worse then the Lakota Tomahawks, and THEY'RE 6 - 10 YEARS OLD!!! I've seen better football played by Special Olmpics teams.

After the game, I decided to stick around and watch some of the other games, and I was just amazed at the caliber the other teams in the NFL play at. Brett Favre, he's what like 40 years old and still has more amazing stats than our team in 20 years combined? Even the Eagles/Bears game was incredible! They play with heart, they play as a team, they play to win... The Bengal's, I'm not even sure they play at all. I mean, I could understand why, they're getting paid just to be there, so obviously I'd show up. But the total lack of respect and unwillingness to play like a team is enough for me to understand that they don't care about the Cincinnati Bengal's fans, and I can only make excuses and get disrespected for so long before I have to walk away...

My solution to the problem: Obviously number one, new coach, and new coordinators. We can't afford to have this lack of talent and expertiece running our players. Second, we obviously have to draft better players for positions we need help in, and from the looks of it, we need 2 new wide recievers, and we need to relieve "Ocho Crappo" and Chris "the thuggesque" Henry of their duties, which doesn't seem like much from their visual performances... Don't get me wrong, I love players that talk trash, but I also want that player to you know, what's that word called...??? Oh yeah, PLAY THE GAME!!! Third, you don't get paid until you perform, no more large paychecks if you're out there screwing around! Everytime you mess up, we take it from your paycheck, clean and clear! Maybe that will teach you to play like a team!

I'm sorry that it had to come down to this, but this is what happens after so many bad times. Like a bad girlfriend, sometimes you just have to leave her as much as it hurts. I'm sad to say that this will not be easy, by any means. I know it's going to be very different watching my Colts instead of the Bengals every Sunday, but the Colts have never let me down as bad as the Bengal's have, and for that reason, they appreciate me watching them, and appreciate them playing with drive, and devotion to the game of football, because that's what football deserves, and that's what the fans deserve! Sorry Bengals, maybe after this season, I'll start watching you again, but you have a lot of work to do before you earn my respect again. We'll See Ya

-451,352 people have the picture above as their wallpaper at work and home after reading this...

This guy is an idiot, not me Dell... Get it right!!!

Ok, so here I find myself again, outsourced to talk to another Indian that I can barely understand, let alone take orders from over the phone. Let's backtrack, I decided to suck it up and call Dell about alittle Dell computer problem I had. It seems that I had contracted a virus that everytime I turned on my computer, it would start up, all nice and ready to go, then I'd click something, and my computer said We'll See Ya, and blanked out and turned off. Yeah, I know, serious problem. So I called Dell to where my call would be answered in "approximately 22 minutes..." Are you serious? Tell me 2 minutes so I still wait for 22, don't straight up tell me 22... Jerkoff's... So I'm waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Then I get the call transferred, GREAT!!! Yeah, wrong number to call for this problem, they don't handle that there, so they transfer me... Again I am waiting another 10 - 15 minutes until a gentleman answers the phone, at least it sounds liek he answered the phone, could have been talking arabic, well, might as well have been talking arabic, because I maybe understood 3 words in our 48 minute 13 second conversation. So I explain my whole situation, and everything in detail, and he says well "did you try waiting awhile and trying to turn it back on?" Ahhh hell, let me just dialogue part of it for you...

Him: "Did you try waiting awhile and trying to turn the computer on again?"

Me: "Yes, I have tried everything..." I unplugged my internet wireless router just in case it was an internet based problem like a virus... I also unplugged my webcam and all unnecessary extra's I wouldn't need..."

Him: "Hmmmm interesting..."

Me: (Really? That's the best you could come up with? Just straight up tell me you can't do anything and you have no idea what it's doing and how much it's going to cost me...) "So you have any suggestions?"

Him: "I'm just trying to think of something here that may be causing it..."

Me: "So you've never seen this problem before?"

Him: "Doesn't sound familiar... Did you check the power outlets that the computer is plugged into?"

Me: "What do you mean check them?"

Him: "Did you check the wiring of them?"

Me: "Uhhhh, no... I mean, what would that really do?"

Him: "Well, if you have a low processing outlet, it might not support the computer running and therefore shut it down suddenly..."

Me: "Interesting... Well, I have a ground fault eliminator and it says no faults..."

Him: "Hmmm, start it up and see what happens when I'm on the line..."

Me: "Ok..."

----3 minutes pass by...----

Me: "It did it again..."

Him: "Weird... Well, let me talk to our other technician here... Please hold, I'll be write back..."

----19 minutes pass by----

Him: "Thanks for holding, but no one has seen this problem before, we apologize..."

Me: "Ok, so what do you think I should do?"

Him: "Have you looked at our new line of computers?"

Me: "Are you (expletive deleted) kidding me?"

Him: "I'm sorry sir?"

Me: "You can't do anything, not ship it in and look at it? Nothing?"

Him: "Oh yes, we can ship it here and look at it... You need to pay for shipping and handling and the service is $175.00 for an IT to look over it..."

Me: "(expletive deleted) that, I'll just buy a mac, they don't have these problems..."

Him: "We apologize sir and thank you for your ongoing service with Dell, have a good day..."

Me: "(expletive deleted) off, I'm done with you clowns...

So this was my lovely experience with Dell customer service and IT department... They made me feel like a complete idiot, and it was lovely... I'm not really going to switch to a Mac, I figured out the problem myself, and it was actually pretty easy, and I felt stupid myself afterwards, but it's still something he didn't mention... Oh well, We'll See Ya...

-8,675,402 people are pretty pissed off when having to call to have their Dell worked on, because they know exactly where I'm coming from after reading this...

Top 10 Reasons Women's Right To Drive Should Be Revoked!!!

10.) Obviously you're stellar at driving with your cell phone, because when the cell phone is at your ear, your field of vision is straight ahead, nevermind all of the cars to your left and right. The world is here for just you!

9.) When "your jam" comes on the radio, you feel the need to dance... I'm not talking about a little finger snap here and there, I'm talking full on, hip swing, arms up, dancing!!! Nevermind the $30 - $40k car you're driving, or others peoples lives on the road, YOU HAVE TO DANCE!!!!

8.) Yes, the light goes from Red to Green, when it's green, you can GO!!! You don't have to stare at the green, although it's mind boggling, I don't have time to sit here all day!!!

7.) When you're not on the phone, it's like you've never been outside of your house! It's like you have to look at every little thing around you like you've never seen houses on the side of the road, which makes you ride that white line, and then slam on the break when you start riding in the grass or that sound barrier on the side of the highway almost causing me to crash!

6.) Road Kill and Future Road Kill... Geez, you see a bird or a squirrel, and it's like a semi is about to hit you head on! You slam up the breaks for a creature that's dumb enough to run out onto the road... Just kill the stupid thing! You know how many squirrels and birds there are out there! I could understand a horse in the road or a bull, but really? A squirrel? Come on... Get real...

5.) Parking... Jesus, don't get me started... Women can't park to save their lives, and it's a good thing that they drive the HUGE TANK of an SUV their husband bought for them... It's like they can usually pull in, but pulling straight out the same track you pulled in on is impossible... I really don't know how hard of a task that is, and second, I don't know how you got your license in the first place... Anybody that fails the parking portion of your driving test, should not be allowed EVER to get their license...

4.) Speed Limits... I don't know what it is, but women are always late on the lights and short on the speed... The numbers are posted everywhere, and you get upset when people tailgate you? Maybe if you weren't going 28 in a 35! You're just like an old person... Speed up or get out! Your undying need to stay in the fast lane going 55 is slowly killing us people that aren't scared of driving!

3.) Turn Signals... All that money you spent on the car, and you can't flip a turn signal on to let us know of your next indecisive move... Seriously, I know it's a stretch between not monitoring your speed, your position on the road, changing the radio, doing your make up, and making sure your hair looks ok, but a little clicking noise to let us know where the hell you're going would be much obliged!!!

2.) Why is it that everytime someone even remotely starts coming into your lane and then moves back once they notice you (probably another of your species) that you freak out and have to about pull over and take an hour break to reflect on what just happened... You know if you honk, they're more likely to cut back quicker and realize their mistake!!! I'm just saying, grow a pair, and get over it...

1.) Your bathroom mirror has officially been moved to your vanity mirror in your sunvisor... Which is also part of the reason you're late off of the lights, EVERYTIME!!! I swear, this lady sat at a light just this morning for a good 2 minutes with me honking because she was putting on eye-shadow... Worst part was I was honking and she throws up her hands like I did something wrong screwing up her morning routine! Get out of here...

Let me just state for the record that this is not ALL WOMEN, but if more than 95% of your are guilty, you're all guilty! I know that most of the girls I know don't, and many that are guilty are mainly between the ages of 32 - 90+... We'll See Ya

-15 of my girl friends said that this wasn't them, then turned around and said this is all so true after reading this...