Monday, December 8, 2008

The Road To Recovery... What A Long Road It Is...


So recently, I decided that I wanted to quit smoking... And when you look at this endeavor, it seems so easy, and people can't believe that you wreck and go back to smoking again. But if you don't smoke, you don't realize how hard it is to quit when you smoke the way that you do. When I first started smoking (thanks to Zeek) it seemed really easy, and it was enjoyable because I was only smoking when I would go out and drink, which was frequent to often. Therefore, I would have some beers, throw back a couple of scoogies, and just relax, and it was wonderful. I remember a pack of cigarettes seemed to last me over a week, and sometimes maybe even 2 weeks. Now, I'll be lucky if I don't have to stop and buy another pack before I go to work the next day... Sometimes I find myself going through 3 packs over a weekend... I have finally come to the conclusion that I do really want to quit smoking, one of many reasons being my health and well being.
As for most of you that actually know me, know that I have tried to quit before, and have failed miserably. But I feel that this time I may be able to make some progress, because as of right now, I'm 29 hours without a cigarette, and although I feel quite antsy, and quite irritable, I still feel that if I'm strong enough, I can conquer this quest. I have had a cough now for some time, and I know it's a result of the smoking, paired with coming down with a cold. I've read many places that smoking can slow your immune system, slowing the progress your body undertakes when fighting off viruses and diseases. I know this is going to be a very difficult task to uphold, because I have almost a set routine, but I have broken this routine already this morning, and did not break in, and decide to stop and buy some more smokes... In a given month consisting of 30 days, I spend approximately $156 dollars on cigarettes. After looking through my finances, that's a savings of $1,872 dollars a year. That almost calculates to almost 4 1/2 car payments on my Civic. After looking at all of the positives, I just have more of a will to quit. This is not to mention the fact that it's just gross and causes cancer and all that cry baby crap they talk about in those dumb commercials. The savings alone are enough to drive me to quit though, and I think that by blogging about it, maybe almost like a journal, I will have somewhat of an easier time quitting.
I'm doing this also in the hopes that people will take notice of how nice and easy it may be to quit, and how rewarding it can be. I plan to blog frequently in some small blogs about behavioral changes, cravings, etc... Therefore, lets begin with Day 1...
Day 1: Started off the same time wise. I had to be at work at 10am. Usually, within my first hour of waking up, before I take my shower and start the daily routine, I would go out and smoke a cigarette, to more or less feed the need. Today was different though. Once I got up, I ate first, trying to get my mind off of wanting to smoke. After I ate, I sat down and started to burn a CD. Once I did that, I still had some extra time, another prime opportunity in which usually I would grab a scoogie... I kept having this anxious feeling that I really needed a cigarette. The feeling was almost like something was very wrong. Once I left the house for work, the time I light up a scoogie before I get to the top of the street, I had this overwhelming feeling that I had forgot something. I kept driving, knowing that had turned everything off, and shut the garage (not that it mattered, because McD was home anyways), but still had that gut feeling. Once I got to West Chester Rd and Route 42, I passed the shell station where I would usually grab a pack or 2 of smokes for the day and the next depending on how I felt. But today, I kept on driving, but feared I would pull in there out of habit. Once I came up to Tylersville and Cox Road intersection that's when I really felt the anxiety... I felt like something terrible was going to happen if I didn't get a cigarette soon. Once I pulled into work however, and walked in, the anxiety went away, because usually I don't smoke again till lunch break, and at that point, I'm pretty stressed just from working, but today seemed different, because I was busy, and wasn't as stressed. I'm starting to think that by keeping busy with something, or keeping my mind focused on something other than my smoking routine, I think less and less about having one. That might be the key, but I hope I can outlast this craving. As of right now, I have a headache, and my hands are shaking a little bit, but nothing too far out of the ordinary.
We'll See Ya
541,205 people decided to quit cold turkey with me, but have already failed after reading this...

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