In The Event You Need To Cheer Someone Up:

If you're looking for the "Book Title Voting Booth," please scroll down, this blog is intended for my concerned friend that is having a bad day.



So I'm sitting thinking about what to write about, when suddenly I'm thrown into a good ole' episode of GangLand on NatGeo. Now, this was no regular episode of my 3rd favorite show. This time they're talking about a branch of "The Kings" in North Carolina. Now don't get me wrong, as gangster as I'm not, I know you're supposed to "Represent your Hood" and all that shit, but this actually blew my mind. The guys "Hood" was Hidden Valley... Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but they make salad dressings right? So, what are you more scared of, getting shot, or getting your salad tossed? Because I think I'd laugh if somebody said "Reppin' Hidden Valley," and I'd probably reply, "no doubt, ranch with bacon dawg!" "Everybody knows Martinez's shit is the BOMB!" This "gang" became so big in Charlotte that they had to create a Gang Task Force. Really? For Hidden Valley? All you have to do is stop importing Lettuce, and Chicken Wings, and then boom, no need for Hidden Valley... That's like the Keebler Elves roling 103 deep in a Chevy Aveo... I mean come on? Really?!?! At least when you "rep" West Chester, you call it the Dub C, and people know! But Hidden Valley? "No thanks, I'll have the soup, I was never really a salad guy..." Now they have "street soldiers" to warn of the dangers of joining the gang, so you mean taste testers? Like those old broads at Krogers with the samples? Shiiiiiiiiiiiit, that's my shit! My dude in the show actually said "Snitches Get Stitches!" I was thinking more along the lines of "Lettuce and Tomato Get BACONED BITCH!" Please, you're not scary, in fact, it's borderline gay... For all you wanna-be gangsters, just give up now, you'll never be Hidden Valley... Never...



Hope your day gets better!